Today you can often hear the concept of courage. What does it mean? First of all, it is worth noting that this concept (like all others) is quite flexible, and for different levels of development the manifestation of courage will be different. From the point of view of Vedic philosophy, there are four varnas: sudras, vaisyas, kshatriyas and brahmanas.
And if we consider the manifestation of courage at each of these levels of development, then sometimes these will even be diametrically opposed concepts. Let's try to figure out what courage is and why this concept is often speculated upon by various kinds of manipulators. How to develop courage, what are its main signs?
- Courage - what is it?
- Courage from the perspective of different levels of development
- How can a man develop?
- What is courage for?
- Five Signs of Courage
We will try to consider these and other important issues in more detail.
Courage - what is it?
Courage is a rather loose concept, as mentioned above. To begin with, we should separate concepts such as courage and masculinity. Even though they have the same root, they have different meanings. Masculinity is a set of characteristics that are considered more characteristic of a man.
In other words, secondary sexual characteristics. And courage is a quality that can be characterized as the manifestation of will in overcoming any limitations, be it various vices, passions or fears. Thus, as paradoxical as it may sound, both men and women can show courage. Most often, courage is a character trait that is viewed as the ability to overcome fear, hardship, physical pain, and so on.
In ancient times, courage was considered one of the main virtues and was included in the list of four important human qualities along with wisdom, justice and moderation. It is worth noting that previously, courage was still considered precisely as a masculine quality, and most often in the context of military valor. Thus, Aristotle believed that courage is fearless and decisive behavior in battle. But the Romans interpreted this concept more broadly, and in their worldview it went beyond the scope of military valor.
Why do men become weak?
A man of past centuries and a man of modern times are different representatives of the stronger sex. And you shouldn't worry too much about this? In past centuries, there were wars and strife, which required men to exhibit certain character traits and behavior. A modern man does not fight, so he does not need to be aggressive and rude. If you compare a medieval man with a representative of the stronger sex from ancient centuries, they will also be different. In primitive times, men had to survive, provide for themselves, fight not with each other, but with nature. This clearly required certain skills and character traits that are strikingly different from the qualities possessed by men in the Middle Ages.
Thus, a modern man should not be equal to the representatives of his sex who lived in the Middle Ages. Then men constantly fought and lived in limited conditions, fighting for their lives. A modern man should not fight and survive, but directs his energies to maintaining his own well-being and increasing his social status. By and large, no one survives, but rather simply tries not to fall in social status lower than they already are.
Modern men are not weak, their masculinity is simply expressed in other qualities and behavior. Now a man should not only be physically strong, cold-blooded and aggressive. Rather, these qualities are already becoming the reason that he is isolated from society. A modern man demonstrates his masculinity through the ability to make decisions, eliminate various life problems, earn money, provide for his family, protect his relatives from any dangers and only in rare cases use his strength.
Just because a modern man does not need to fight every day, take up arms and fight with someone, does not mean that he has become weak. A man continues to be courageous at all times. It’s just that the concept itself contains various qualities and behavior, which depends on the time and conditions in which society lives.
Courage from the perspective of different levels of development
In a word, there are as many opinions as there are people, and it cannot be said that any of the opinions is more correct. As mentioned above, for each level of development the definition of courage will be different. Above we have already touched upon the topic of Vedic varnas and the difference in the understanding of courage. Let's consider this issue in more detail. So, for the Shudras, such a concept as courage will be very unique.
Shudras are considered people who are only at the very beginning of their development, and their worldview is mostly limited by animal instincts, therefore courage at this stage of development will be perceived accordingly. Most likely, we can say that in this case, courage will be considered as a manifestation of rudeness, unprincipledness, unreasonable aggressive behavior, and so on.
From the point of view of Vaishyas (merchants, artisans), courage will most likely be understood as the ability to provide for one’s family, since for this varna family is, perhaps, the main value in life.
For kshatriyas (warriors), courage will also be presented rather one-sidedly. Most likely, at this stage of development, a person will consider himself courageous, running somewhere in the mountains with a machine gun after people whose opinion he considers wrong. And he is doomed not to understand that, running after them through the mountains, he is fighting only with the ghosts woven in his mind.
A more or less harmonious understanding of courage can be considered among representatives of the fourth varna - brahmans (sages, wise men, yogis). At this stage of development, a person already understands that all problems exist only within him. And his courage will manifest itself in fighting those very ghosts that are woven only in his mind and nowhere else. From the Brahmin point of view, courage is the courage to overcome one's own limitations.
As Shakyamuni Buddha said, “Conquer yourself and you will win a thousand battles.” This is probably the most accurate definition of courage. By the way, Buddha himself did exactly this. During his meditation under the Bodhi tree, he, having defeated himself, was able to defeat the huge army of Mara, which he sent to Siddhartha to stop his meditation. The same can be said about Christ. His courage was that for forty days in the desert he struggled with himself and his limitations. These are the truest and most inspiring manifestations of courage.
About masculinity - in the true and original sense.
Newbie, start here!
Men who have the misfortune of being born, living and dying in countries where matriarchy has prevailed are not allowed or are not supposed to know a lot of things. Because these men are slaves. And the slave must know, think and want only what is beneficial to the owner. In particular, we are not supposed to know our history - the real, and not falsified and repeatedly rewritten, history of our country. Because this story, until the beginning of the 20th century, was, by and large, made by MEN - normal men, not criminal elements, and not zombie-state slaves. We are not supposed to know the true meaning of the word “family” - because, until the modern period of history, in all societies, countries and ethnic groups (we do not take specific curiosities), the descendants of whose inhabitants inhabit the modern world, the family could be - and was - EXCLUSIVELY PATRIARCHAL - with a man - the absolute captain, head and leader. Because matriarchy in human society is an unnatural and deeply pathological phenomenon, and (1) can persist and exist exclusively with the help of legalized criminal force methods - at bayonets - which, in fact, is now the norm in all so-called “civilized” countries , and (2) any society to which matriarchy is imposed will die out in a very short time, from the point of view of history - which is also quite obvious, fully confirmed by objective realities, facts and statistical data, and understandable to any hedgehog, unless, of course, one blind and not zombified.
Another basic and systemic concept, access to which is closed for a modern man, and closed by analogy - tightly, fundamentally and systematically - is the concept of true masculinity, as a set of fundamental moral norms, worldview and value system - the basis for the formation of a person as an PERSON. Because, forgive the tautology, a courageous man, by definition, cannot be a slave - he cannot be zombified, he lives in his own interests, not his master's - he will not allow himself to be tortured and killed in a slave army, he will not become an ideal consumer - the basis for capitalism , he will not allow destructive female instincts - the basis for capitalism - to break out, he will not vote for criminals, he will never allow anyone to be more important than himself and decide for himself how he should live! A normal - courageous - in the true meaning of the word, a person for any totalitarian slave-owning system is UNSUITABLE AND INCONVENIENT, no matter what this system is called - “capitalism”, “socialism”, “communism”, “fascism” or any other bandit “ISM” . Therefore, by analogy with the objective data of historical science, and information about the true structure and goals of the “family” team, the modern concept of “masculinity” is a little more than completely falsified, devalued, desecrated, turned inside out - and has nothing to do with the original true the meaning of this word - which, to the best of my ability, capabilities and available sources of information, I will try to talk about.
Femininity.
Before moving directly to masculinity, it would be appropriate to define the concept of “femininity” and then proceed from it. Personally, I will say this - out of significantly more than ten thousand women with whom I had to communicate in one way or another during my life - those who could, at least with a stretch, be called “feminine”, or at least “falsely feminine”, you can count on one hand - there were no more than one in several hundred, if not a thousand. At the same time, I fully admit that there are even fewer of them, because a demo version could well be hidden under the behavior that I assessed as “femininity”. It is quite possible that the majority of respected readers, especially young ones, have never met (again, I apologize) a feminine woman in their lives and have no idea what it is? If to yourself or to friends - “What kind of woman can be called feminine?” — a lot of words, phrases and opinions will be expressed about (un)desirable appearance, character, behavior, sexuality, sex appeal, thriftiness, etc. and so on. All these arguments - and this, again, is a consequence of the general zombification of consciousness - will not have the slightest relation to the essence of the issue. The only correct and final definition I heard was from Denis Burkhaev - “Only that woman who RESPECTS men can be called feminine!” Let me add - respects deeply, sincerely, at the “systemic” level - in accordance with the basic principles of gender relations. That is, a feminine woman not only does not be rude and speaks politely to a man (even this is the greatest rarity for modern women!), but she perceives a man as nature should - as a natural LEADER, as a different, different, more systematically complex being - as a LEADING , and positions itself - as a LEAD - behaves in accordance with the evolutionary model of interaction between the sexes - the basis for a normal patriarchal family - the basis for a normal and normally reproducing, and not a "bayonet" and dying - society, society, country. The key word here is RESPECT. Only a woman who respects men is feminine. At the same time and naturally, such a woman RESPECTS HERSELF, and the man RESPECTS her. That is, both the man and the woman realize that they are DIFFERENT, that they have DIFFERENT ROLES AND TASKS, that the man is the leader, and the woman is the follower, and, at the same time, everyone RESPECT each other! As a result, a monolithic closed system arises - a patriarchal family - where everyone has their own roles, their own responsibilities, their own tasks. It is precisely this kind of woman who RESPECTS A MAN that men’s instinctive programs perceive precisely as a woman - such a woman interests a man both sexually and as a potential wife (life partner) and mother of common children. Therefore, the main quality of that conventionally female creature, which the intelligent writer Alexander Biryukov calls a “defective woman”, and the unintelligent HPN - a “shit female” - is a basic and irreversible lack of respect for men and a lack of understanding of the socio-biological roles of men and women in a healthy society. Shitty females disguise their defectiveness and unsuitability for the family, the role of wife and mother, with fraudulent behavior called “demo version” - they PRETEND to be feminine for a more or less long period in order to deceive the instinctive programs of a man, and after the deceived man enters into a so-called “demo version” official marriage”, shitty females demonstrate their true essence - with the help of psychological terror and disgusting anti-male laws they destroy the “family”, take away a man’s property, children, expose him to alimony slavery - irreversibly cripple his life, as well as the life and the psyche of taken children.
Masculinity.
To understand the true original meaning of the word “masculinity”, by analogy with the concept of “femininity” - that’s why I started with it - there will also be the word “RESPECTS”. So, let's go find out - who exactly and how exactly does a courageous man “RESPECT”? It is already clear that such a man initially respects a woman and initially respects himself, while, again, clearly realizing that he is DIFFERENT, SYSTEMICALLY DIFFERENT AND LEADING, and that - MAN AND WOMAN HAVE DIFFERENT ROLES AND TASKS IN THE FAMILY, SOCIETY, EVOLUTION , CIVILIZATIONS. And that a WOMAN IS NOT EQUAL TO A MAN! That she is DIFFERENT - no worse or better, smarter or stupider - namely, DIFFERENT, and, by definition, LED! That is, it is normal, and even necessary, to respect a woman, but to respect her as a woman, with an understanding of the systemic difference between the sexes - chief - subordinate, leader - follower! A man who, at a systemic basic level, considers a woman to be an identical and equal being, who is not aware of the natural difference between the consciousness and behavior of a man and a woman, can no longer be considered courageous!
Next, let's try to talk about the main basic component of true masculinity - about SELF-RESPECT - about how much the average modern man RESPECTS HIMSELF - how much can he and is capable of doing this? And about what makes up this SELF-RESPECT? I’m warning you right away - everything that follows will be so large-scale, global and completely bad that I ask those faint of heart not to read! And I ask those who are not faint of heart to read while lying down - just in case!
I’ll say (in a whisper - in confidence) - since I, in fact, am a big lazy person, and, at the same time, an honest comrade - I don’t see the point in plagiarizing and retelling on my own behalf what was already written by another person, at another time, in another place. Therefore, let us turn to the book “Feeling Good” by the American psychologist and psychotherapist David Burns, which I have already mentioned several times in previous articles, published in the USA in 1980, which almost half a century ago completely turned my mind around and changed (I think - and saved!) my life: https: //www.klex.ru/a6v
Initially, this book is a stand-alone guide to getting out of depression. But, like any talented (I’m not afraid to say, brilliant!) work, it turned out to be so much wider and deeper than the nominal format that it practically takes the thoughtful reader to a very high level of general philosophical categories. As I understand it, the basic reasons for the destruction and loss of masculinity are exactly the same as the reasons for depression - BROKEN FILTERS OF PERCEPTION OF REALITY! A zombified man, raised by women, woman slaves and the pathological woman-oriented information-value “matrix” of a matriarchal society, is inevitably doomed in parallel to deep depression and loss of true masculinity - and the reasons are the same, and the symptoms are the same, and these two concepts are firmly intertwined and one follows from the other. If we dig really deep, let's think - what is the main task of the slave owner as such, and, in particular, of the slave owner-state, and the slave owner-woman? The main task is for the slave to bring the greatest profit with the least investment in him. There is a well-known “carrot and stick” method - reward for desirable actions and punish for undesirable ones. What can a slave owner do to reduce his investment - to swing the stick less and reduce the required number of carrots as much as possible? To do this, it is necessary to zombify the slave in such a way that he encourages and punishes himself - so that he thinks that what the slave owner wants from him is actually what he himself wants! At this point, such concepts as “self-esteem”, “self-respect” and their external manifestation in human behavior, called “human dignity”, enter the “historical arena”. That is, how does a person evaluate himself, or on what exactly does he make his “value” dependent, and also, on what does he base self-respect and on what does he make it dependent? As a rule, self-esteem is primary, and self-esteem is secondary, that is, self-esteem at any given moment in life depends on self-esteem. From this point on, everything will be so simple and so contrary to the “matrix” in which we all grew up that it will be very difficult to understand. In order to zombify a person, in our case a man, and make him a controlled slave, you need to make him believe that his human value, aka self-esteem, depends on something beneficial to someone - the state, a woman, some or to a third party, etc. — EXTERNAL factors. As soon as a man believes that his self-esteem (on which self-respect is based) “depends on...” - that’s it - he’s ready - he’s screwed! This is no longer a man - he is a zombie slave deprived of masculinity who can be controlled and manipulated! What, in fact, objectively, does the self-esteem and self-respect of absolutely any person depend on?! They don't really depend on anything! That is, from nothing at all! They cannot be equated either to appearance, or to age, or to health, or to gender, or to abilities, or to property, or to achievements, or to rank or status, or to (in)successes with the opposite sex - not at all what! Imagine that ABSOLUTELY ANY person is born with some unchangeable virtual “sewn-in capsule of human value”, the same for everyone, grows up with it, lives and dies, and at any moment throughout his life his “value” - the basis for self-esteem and self-respect - remains the same and the unchangeable and equal “worth” of any other person. A man who understands that his value and self-esteem, then self-respect and human dignity, do not depend on anything, becomes practically invulnerable to zombies, provocations and manipulations. He simply stops “acting” and reacting to all this. Therefore, the main task of any social totalitarian structures - from the sovereign to the “family” - is the goal of making a man’s self-esteem and self-respect dependent on .... As soon as such a dependence is instilled - and it begins to be imposed on boys almost from birth - a man practically ceases to be such, turns into a controlled slave, gives up his masculinity and his fate will be sad! This is what we have in hundreds of millions of men’s destinies...
So, let’s go figure it out point by point - what false “value systems” a modern matriarchal (and any totalitarian) society instills in a man in order to deprive him of his masculinity and make him manageable. All the points noted below, as a rule, overlap, intersect and operate in a complex manner:
1. The dependence of self-esteem on the opinions and approval of others.
Perhaps this is the most widespread, massive and large-scale way of destroying masculinity. A man is instilled with a tendency to make self-respect dependent on the opinions of others, primarily on the opinions of women. Such a person is unstable to “trolling” and automatically puts the opinion of the person criticizing or insulting above his own opinion of himself. If someone criticizes him, then he automatically considers himself insignificant. Since he is emotionally hypersensitive to other people's opinions, he can be easily manipulated. The most common trait of “sufferers” and henpecked people. This mental attitude is the basis for the famous manipulation “a real man should!” and to instill in a man a “common male guilt complex.”
2. The dependence of self-esteem on the presence of women, love and sex.
A man makes his inner emotional background dependent on love and/or the presence of sexual intercourse in life and (the possibility of) sex; for him, this is a necessary condition for survival and happiness. The stronger this dependence, the more a person agrees to a subordinate position due to fear of alienation. The result is a loss of respect from the woman. Women consider such types burdensome for themselves. As soon as such men are rejected, pushed away, they, realizing that they will lack a daily dose of attention and sympathy, become impulsive and engage in manipulation to achieve their goals. Their insistence on love and attention pushes women away, increasing loneliness and perpetuating the cycle. Another basis for the manipulation “a real man should!”
3. The dependence of self-esteem on achievements in work, business or creativity. Workaholism.
Another widespread and favorite womanish and state technique for manipulating a man and depriving him of his masculinity is the dependence of self-esteem on work, position, achievements and income, when a person sees himself as a commodity on the market. In this case, his joy and ability to be happy depends on the amount of money earned and/or success in work. If a man, for reasons beyond his control, fails in business or goes bankrupt, experiences a creative crisis, loses his job, or even just goes on vacation, leaving things unfinished or uncorrected, resigns or gets sick and cannot continue working, he is in danger of emotional failure with the most dire consequences. And again the basis for manipulation is “a real man should!”
4. Dependence on “impeccability” - “perfectionism”. A man demands impeccability from himself in everything or in many ways—conformity to an unattainable absolute. Mistakes are unacceptable, failure is worse than death, even negative emotions are a disaster - a person must feel, think, behave beyond perfection, if something goes wrong, then it seems to him that he is burning in the flames of hell. No matter how fast a person runs in such a situation, he will not be able to achieve his ideal. As soon as he approaches one goal, another immediately appears in front of him. He wonders why the seemingly real joy of victory does not materialize. His life is devoid of joy and pleasure. He carries through life personal standards that are far from reality and require re-evaluation.
5. Dependence on the belief “I am worthy of this” and recognition of achievements and successes by others.
(Not exactly on the topic of masculinity - more of a universal problem). A person considers such things as success, love, happiness, etc. necessary. A person demands that those around him, and indeed the entire Universe, greet him with open arms for his personal qualities or accomplishments. Most often this does not happen, and the person feels depressed with all the ensuing consequences. Therefore, such people spend a lot of energy on their frustrations, sadness, and discontent. Most of life becomes painful and unpleasant for them. They often complain loudly, but practically do nothing to resolve their problems. As a result, they get less and less from life.
If there is no such dependence, a person does not consider himself created for certain things. Therefore, he tries to achieve what he wants, and often gets it. He understands that every person is unique, and there is no reason why fate should obey his wishes. He considers failures to be a minor disappointment and a normal “working” process, and not a tragedy. He does not expect perfection or fairness in everything and always. He is patient and persistent, and has a high ability to withstand frustration. As a result, he most often ends up ahead of the rest.
6. False “omnipotence” or shifted responsibility syndrome.
Another pathological dependence of self-esteem that women and the ruler simply love to instill in men from the cradle is to attribute responsibility to themselves for everything that happens, including the emotional state of the manipulating women. Accepting responsibility for events beyond his control - a man unreasonably blames himself for the misdeeds of other people who are not under his control. He is overcome by guilt and self-condemnation. The feeling that he should be all-powerful makes him helpless. The favorite basis for manipulation of shitty females who change or ruin their family is “I did this because you did/didn’t do this or that…”.
7. Inability to be autonomous, fear of “loneliness.”
Another of the main and favorite ways to deprive a man of masculinity and self-sufficiency is to instill in him the so-called “fear of loneliness” and “fear of lonely old age.” A zombified man is pulled and pushed into the meat grinder of an “official marriage”, after which he either simply does not live to see old age, or faces old age not only alone, but also in poverty, since all property and savings were stolen by his ex-wives. The man is sure that happiness, joy and satisfaction come from outside, including from having a so-called “family”. This is a huge drawback, since the outside world is not subject to his control, and what’s more, the behavior of other people, even relatives, and especially women, is in no way subject to his control. His mood and emotional state become completely dependent on external factors, usually hostile.
So, let’s summarize what a courageous or normal man is like:
He has an unwavering respect for himself and respects women, while being fully aware of the difference between the sexes and the different socio-biological tasks of the sexes. His self-esteem, self-esteem and self-esteem are unchanged and do not depend on variable factors and situations. His self-esteem, self-respect and self-esteem do not need approval or recognition from other people. He never asserts himself through physical or moral humiliation or domination over other people. He is not subject to zombification and manipulation by other people or society as a whole. He lives by his own goals and interests and leads a lifestyle that is convenient for him, which may not coincide with the goals, interests and lifestyle that are beneficial to someone else and are promoted in this society. He is psychologically independent, has a healthy sense of self-esteem, and a normal reaction to criticism and disapproval. He views love as a desirable positive component of a fulfilling life, but besides this, he has many other, no less important, interests. Love for him is not a necessary condition for happiness and self-esteem. People find this type attractive because they have a healthy sense of self-love and are interested in many aspects of life. He gets satisfaction from work, but it is not related to self-esteem and self-esteem. He has the ability to set reasonable goals and enjoys the process of achieving the goal, without concentrating only on the result. He understands that he doesn't have to be great at everything and doesn't have to try hard at everything all the time. He is not afraid of mistakes, viewing them as an excellent opportunity for learning and personal growth. Paradoxically, in his work he is most likely much more productive than his impeccable partners, since he does not perceive failures as a personal tragedy. His life is like a flowing river compared to the lives of his “perfect” friends, who can be compared to eternal ice. He usually puts his expectations in the realm of reality, and more often experiences the joy of victory. He communicates with those around him, realizing that he and no one else are the center of the earth - adequate adults are not responsible for each other. This position does not isolate him from others. Rather, the opposite creates emotional barriers. He treats people as partners and is not afraid of their disagreement. Since he treats people fairly, he attracts many people because he is not at all inclined to control them. People listen to his ideas because he does not force them to adhere to their point of view. He does not seek power, and people give it to him. His relationships with loved ones can be called reciprocity, not dependence. He doesn't try to take over, and people love and respect him. He is self-sufficient, psychologically independent, and is not afraid of loneliness. He does not shift responsibility for his feelings and mood onto others, because he understands that only he himself is responsible for this. He is not afraid of loneliness, and is not afraid of feeling lonely, because he knows that all such sensations arise only in his head. Such a performance provides an opportunity to experience an amazing and beautiful world. He knows how to control his feelings and emotions. He perceives information from the outside world, first of all - criticism and other negativity coming from other people - according to the “semiconductor principle” - positive emotions are accepted in full, “pure negativity” is filtered out “at the input”, the constructive critical component of negative information is skipped and is comprehended without affecting stable positive mood and emotional state.
As an afterword, I would like to say that all of the above about masculinity applies to a man - not a cattle, who has moral and ethical standards and is guided by a universal human value system. Cattle and cattle are animals devoid of moral standards, living by instinctive programs (kill, finish, push, deceive, steal, take away, etc.) - which instead of the concepts of “self-respect”, “own dignity”, “self-sufficiency” “There are such things as “CHSV”, “show-offs”, animal rank ambitions - requiring constant aggression towards the people around them and self-affirmation in this way - and the bullies communicate with other people about the principle of a hierarchical pyramid in a pack of wild monkeys. For the same reasons, in our country, the above-described signs of true masculinity are often confused with womanizing, tomboyishness, gopnikov and “show-off”. One more thing - leading a healthy lifestyle and playing sports - including martial arts and athleticism - is extremely desirable for any self-respecting man, as well as being able, if necessary, to protect himself from the physical aggression of bullies, but all this is not directly related to true masculinity has and should not have. Masculinity (once again) is unshakable SELF-esteem, SELF-respect, SELF-sufficiency, immunity to women's state zombies, the ability to think independently and live by one's own interests.
Thank you for your attention. Sincerely. Michael.
How can a man develop?
So, as we found out above, the main victory is victory over yourself. And the highest manifestation of courage lies precisely in this. The problem with men today regarding the development of masculinity is that most of them remain infantile even at a fairly mature age. Thus, in the 20th century, psychologist Marie-Louise von Franz noted a disappointing fact - many men stop at the teenage level in their development.
And this was about the last century, what can we say about today, when you can see adult men who continue to achieve success only in the virtual world of some online toys. Von Franz predicted that in the future there will only be more such men, and, as we can see, her words come true.
Today, the problem of infantility is often aggravated by watching pornography and playing computer games. The fact is that both of these, so to speak, entertainments allow you to remain in a comfortable illusory world and not go outside for years. And such a person seems to be “preserved” in the state of the age at which he became addicted to these vices.
To understand the root of the problem, consider the path of a person’s growing up from the very beginning. After birth, the child is highly dependent on the mother, and this is normal. But the problem is that most men remain in this state for a long time. The harmonious development of a man involves dependence on his mother only in the first years of life, but not until retirement age (and if you thought that we were talking about the mother’s retirement age, then this is still an optimistic scenario). Next, the boy must gradually adopt his father’s behavior patterns and become more independent.
And the problem of our society is that today most families are single-parent. In such a family, either the father is absent altogether, or he is present as an “honorary queen” - formally he seems to exist, but is completely abstracted from raising the child. And most often only the mother is involved in upbringing, and no matter how hard she tries to instill in the boy all the qualities he needs in life, she will inevitably transmit to him female models of behavior.
There is another problem: if a boy does not see an example of masculine behavior next to him (and at the level of instinct it is inherent in him that he should copy this behavior from someone), then he begins to take an example from television heroes. Now let’s remember who was the idol of youth in the 2000s. Sasha Bely from Brigada. And this is precisely the understanding of courage today among the millennial generation. And this does not mean that subsequent generations had better examples. Compared to those television heroes who broadcast their behavior patterns to teenagers today, Sasha Bely is simply a real angel.
And this is precisely the problem of developing courage today. The boy simply does not have an adequate example of such behavior. It’s good if the role of an absent (or formally present) father can be replaced, for example, by a coach who will teach not only how to run and jump, but also give an example of an adequate worldview. But these are isolated cases. In most cases, the boy follows the example of television characters, various “stars” of show business, and so on.
And the problem is much deeper than we think. In criminal psychology, it is noted that almost all male serial killers are children where there was either no father, or he was some kind of formal addition to an overbearing mother. That is, the absence of an example of masculine behavior practically guarantees the boy’s impossibility of further full life. Yes, there are examples of those who, having already matured, begin to educate themselves. But the majority remain inert, infantile toys in the hands of fate.
In the book Finding Our Fathers, Samuel Osherson mentions an interesting sociological study that states that only 17% of men have experienced a positive relationship with their father. In other cases, the father is either not there at all, or he plays the role of furniture in the family, or he is simply not interested in raising the child. And in this case, the child is raised by the mother, trying to play the role of father and mother at the same time. But, as already said, these efforts are in vain, because such attempts are no different from the attempts of a cat to play the role of a dog. Only when everyone is in their place and plays their role can we talk about harmony.
And a boy raised only by his mother, in most cases remains infantile and unviable. And the most interesting thing is that today they are the majority. That is, this condition is gradually becoming the norm, and this is the most important problem. This is the same situation as with the modern level of health. The unhealthy lifestyle and poor nutrition of the majority lead to the fact that the state of chronic pain is perceived as the norm.
As a result, we have a whole society of infantile dreamers who are increasingly immersed in the virtual world (modern technologies make it possible not to leave there at all). Such people are unable to do anything. All plans begin and end in their heads. After all, in order to do something, you need to tear your butt off the sofa. What for? After all, there is a cold and hostile world beyond the comfort zone, so it is better to remain a child who sits in his warm cradle.
And sooner or later the point of no return will come, and there is little choice here: either before this point you start doing something, or you pass this point and forever remain an eternal child, whose interests are limited to online toys, pornography and other destructive entertainment.
But it's not that bad. When describing a problem, it is important to find a solution, and not just scare everyone. When we talk about the point of no return, we are, of course, exaggerating. It's never too late to change everything. And the first thing you need is a goal. You need to find a goal that will force you to take the first step every time. At first it can at least be health: physical, mental, spiritual. A boy deprived of an example of courage in childhood is inevitably sick on all three levels: body, psyche and soul.
And to begin with, the best motivation is to become healthy and strong in every sense. Experience shows that the easiest way to start is with the body: it can be sports (not professional, but as part of self-development) or at least morning exercises. But the body is just the tip of the iceberg. You need to work with your mental and emotional state. This could be yoga, meditation, or any other spiritual practice. The most important thing is regularity and discipline. After all, if we regularly do something, overcoming laziness, doubt and fear, this already cultivates courage in us.
But this is just the beginning of the journey. Next you need to find your purpose. Everyone has some kind of talent. And this talent needs to be revealed in yourself. Working at a job you hate for pennies (and even if not for pennies, it doesn’t change the essence of the matter) is also a sign of immaturity, inertia, and inability to change oneself, develop and make efforts.
And this is the main step - to find your place in life. Everyone comes into this world with some kind of task, and this task is clearly not to race in “tanks” for days. Everyone comes into the world with some abilities, having realized which, he is able to bring reasonable, good, eternal things into the world. And if a person finds this purpose, it will become so important to him that it will be impossible to live without it. As they say, the artist is not the one who mastered the brush and paints, the artist is the one who cannot help but paint.
Thus, courage rests on two pillars: health (physical, mental and spiritual) and the realization of one’s destiny. Without these two components it is difficult to imagine a courageous person. If a person is sick or does not know why he came into this world, there is no need to talk about any kind of courage and harmonious development. But, if these two aspects are realized in a man’s life, he becomes independent, strong and free.
How to raise a boy to be a real man? First of all, it is worth noting the speculative nature of the term “real man” in modern society. Usually marketers and mercantile women love to use it. Remember the main thing: if an advertisement or a woman uses the term “real man”, with a high degree of probability you will now have to buy something, pay for something, and so on. Therefore, it is important not to allow yourself to be manipulated.
And in order to raise a boy as a real man, you must first teach him to be free and independent from imposed destructive concepts, you need to teach him to cultivate willpower, teach him to make the morally correct choice in any situation, and so on.
How to regain the power of courage?
Admit your responsibility
There are too many divorced people who are used to not being responsible for anything. They always say: “What depends on me? Well, what could I do? These are all the circumstances, the crisis, the government, the bosses, the state, cronyism, bad people.” How familiar this is.
We love to look for the reasons for failures in life in other people or circumstances, but not in ourselves. No one is saying that he is to blame for not taking the situation into account, not being sufficiently prepared, not having the necessary experience and not acting correctly enough. Wake up your courage, you will need it now. Courage is taking responsibility for what is happening. Only you are responsible for what happens in your life.
Raise the flag of struggle for goals
Most people don't even fight for their goals and dreams. We try, but sluggishly, weakly, timidly. Inconstancy, cowardice, cowardice and laziness are our everyday traits. But at such a moment, it takes courage to get off the couch and raise the flag of fighting for your dreams.
Don't you think it's time to change your life for the better, rather than complain about it and blame others? Do the necessary things, and not sit on the Internet, social networks and TV for days? Declare to yourself that from today you are fighting for your goals, and not limply floating with the flow. Get up off your knees and fight for your dreams. Hands, head, feet, dreams and even teeth.
Rules of life for veterans
Steven Erixon, Unsplash
Welcome change and change yourself
Change the world and change with it. Often we hold on to something that has no particular value. The fear of something new keeps us going. But courage is to try something new, to explore, to study, to fight, to win.
Welcome change rather than resist it. Try something new and promising more often. Extend your desires beyond the familiar and comfortable. Try and even take risks when required. Create your own opportunities by studying, understanding and developing your talents. Don't stop in self-development, but move on. You will never become an ideal, so the field for self-development is very wide. It's time to plant the right seeds.
Become free to desire
We are often very constrained even in our dreams. We are afraid to be free to express our goals and grandiose plans for the future. We like to say that we don't want anything. We just don’t have the courage to openly express our desires and dreams. We are afraid to admit that we want a completely different life.
No one and nothing can limit your freedom. You are free in your thoughts, dreams, actions and movements. Become free and open in your desires. Show courage and courage now. Be open about your goals and dreams to everyone around you. All. Now you have nowhere to retreat and hide.
Penguinuhh Fbuv, Unsplash
Take a step towards your goal
We always don't have enough courage to move forward. We procrastinate, get lazy, or avoid real work. Courage consists of taking the first step towards a goal, and then the second and subsequent ones. Every day, do what moves you towards what you want. Stop pretending that you are satisfied with the reality around you. Show courage to change something in your life for the better.
How to become a strong person
It all starts with the first step. Courage is the quality of the strong. But do you belong to them? Only you can answer this...
What is courage for?
What is courage for? First, let's figure out what courage is and how it manifests itself. Today, many people think that courage is pumped up muscles, a high salary, an expensive car, power, and so on. They confuse essence and form. What is courage? We can say that a courageous person, first of all, does not identify himself with the body, but recognizes himself as something greater: soul, consciousness - you can call it whatever you like.
Think for yourself: if a person considers himself just a body, just a piece of flesh, is he really capable of showing courage? If Christ considered himself only a body, would he be able to endure all the trials with dignity? Or if a person considers himself only a material body, how can he, for example, tell the truth or stand up for the weak, risking his life? This is hardly possible.
Thus, courage is first of all the awareness of one’s true nature, one’s true “I”, which is eternal and indestructible. And it takes courage to always follow the chosen path. And if we are not material beings, but primarily spiritual ones, then our courage lies precisely in living “not by bread alone,” as Jesus bequeathed, that is, living not by material values (more precisely, not only by them), but by spiritual ones.
Five Signs of Courage
And finally, let’s look at the main signs of courage so that you can recognize it if you suddenly encounter this deficiency in modern society:
- Lack of fear. This is not about being reckless, but about acting without fear, even in a stressful situation, when necessary.
- Overcoming your own limitations. A courageous person always strives for development and fights against his limitations: physical, mental and spiritual.
- Moral choice. A courageous person always makes the morally correct choice, even if it may threaten his life and health.
- Iron will. One of the main manifestations of courage is the ability to endure hardship, suffering, and pain in order to achieve a goal.
- Compassion. A courageous person always acts out of compassion. And even though a warrior sometimes has to kill, he does it only when it is necessary to save the majority
These are the main signs of courage. And everyone who wants to develop this quality should strive for this standard.
