Lonely old age is not a problem, but a dream?

The problem of lonely old age

Introduction

Young people are completely incapable of realizing that sooner or later old age will become their invisible companion. They are confident that incredible adventures await them ahead, that loneliness and weakness will pass them by. However, very often completely opposite events happen in life.

Problem

Why is it that people who have experienced a lot, have precious experience and the ability to share it with the younger generation, are so often left alone. The problem of lonely old age worries B.P. Ekimov, writer and publicist.

A comment

Nicholas Mas. Old age is no joy.

It tells the story of the fate of an elderly woman whom he happened to meet while on vacation in Crimea. She sold bouquets of dried wormwood, trying to get at least some money for food. She did not want to beg, although she could have gotten much more from it than from selling dry grass. The velvet season was in full swing in Koktebel, people were relaxing and enjoying the soft warmth of autumn days. Among them, a gawky old woman selling bunches of wormwood was somehow out of place. Day after day, a feeling of guilt and bitter resentment for the woman grew in the author’s heart. But when he saw that she had met some tourists, people began to gather around her and talk to her, the storyteller’s heart became light.

Author's position

The author takes an unambiguous position in the text - older people need communication, support, and participation much more than money. It is extremely important that someone cares about them, shows attention, and simply says kind words. Even the kindness of random people can have a huge impact on the well-being of an elderly person, warm his lonely heart, and fill his soul with significance.

Your position

I share the point of view of the author of the text. Elderly people, who for some reason are forced to live out the rest of their lives alone, need nothing more than kind words and kind deeds to protect their old age. Lack of participation and kindness on the part of others can lead to tragic consequences.

Argument No. 1

The problem of lonely, useless old people, especially parents, was raised by many Russian writers and poets. For example, in one of Belkin’s Stories “The Station Warden” A.S. Pushkin describes an incident that happened in the life of the “little man” Samson Vyrin, who worked at the station all his life. His daughter Dunya, who was the old man’s only joy, one day, succumbing to feelings, ran away with a young officer from her father’s house. Separation from her crippled the caretaker, he began to drink a lot, his health noticeably deteriorated, he practically abandoned the house, leaving it in disarray and desolation. During their lifetime, father and daughter were never destined to meet. Dunya came to visit the lonely grave when she learned about her father’s death. The daughter’s irresponsibility completely destroyed the old man’s life, robbing him of his only meaning in life through her escape.

Argument No. 2

A similar situation is described in the story “Telegram” by K. G. Paustovsky. The main character Katerina lived to a ripe old age, but is forced to while away her last days alone, despite the fact that she has a daughter. Anticipating the imminent approach of death, she sends telegrams to her daughter one after another, but in response she receives only excuses. As a result, Katerina’s daughter visited her mother only after her death. She repented of her indifference to her loved one, who really needed her, but it was already too late.

Conclusion

Thus, older people are in dire need of our support and attention. We must remember the old-timers of our family, because without our help they are no longer able to live as before.

Loneliness of older people - reasons and how to overcome it

• Content

Loneliness of older people - reasons and how to overcome it
Old age is a long period of vital activity of a living organism that cannot be avoided. It is characterized by deterioration or complete loss of the ability to perform certain actions. The end of the aging process is the death of the body.

Read the article about aging that we published earlier, it describes the aging process in more detail.

Aging occurs at the cellular level; this process can damage some organs and organ systems more severely and extensively than others. The body gradually fades (aging) completely, however, some organs demonstrate this more clearly; the ongoing process proceeds unevenly. Older people often spend their retirement alone. How to avoid this and not be left alone with yourself in old age?

Old age as a life stage

Old age is a kind of final stage in the life of the body, which is conventionally divided into three components:

• transitional - a time period falling within the period of 50-60 years. Retirement is just around the corner, which is a little scary. Undoubtedly, you want to relax and live for your own pleasure. However, if you don’t think about your next hobbies, your free time will be more of a burden than a joy of life. In addition, at this age changes in character begin (not for the better), a person becomes more complex, picky, and aggressive;
• the period of 60-70 years (ordinary old age), when visible changes occur in the state of health, habits, mood, etc. There is a need to create certain conditions for comfort (assistance in everyday matters, review of the diet);
• frailty - this stage is quite unpleasant, characterized by problems with movement (the person may be bedridden). In addition, memory and attention deteriorate, the desire to develop is completely absent. To combat antipathy in life, it is recommended to maintain relationships between older people and their family, long-time acquaintances, and not to forget about hobbies in order to maintain interest in life.

Lonely old woman

Changes in old age

In old age, the body undergoes a number of changes, among which the most unpleasant are:

• slowing down of thought processes. This problem can be solved by training the brain, for which solving crossword puzzles, reading books and memorizing poetry are suitable;
• sharpening of bad character traits. Although this process is not reversible, however, it can be controlled by controlling emotions; you need to understand how important it is to behave in society and what boundaries must be adhered to.

Old people playing chess

Quite often there is a situation where old age and loneliness “go hand in hand.” What explains this problem? What should you avoid, what behavior tactics should you choose so as not to remain lonely in your twilight years?

Reasons for loneliness

The loneliness of older people in old age is determined by a number of reasons:

1. reducing the range of interests and hobbies. At a young age, a person makes contact much easier, is ready to experiment and learn something new, and is free from prejudice. Older people tend to reduce their circle of friends to a minimum, and make new acquaintances extremely rarely. Their thirst for knowledge decreases, and their hobbies and hobbies are now practically of no interest to them;
2. changes in character. In old age, a person’s character undergoes a number of changes not for the better; his negative aspects are more pronounced, such as arrogance, obsession, suspiciousness, nervousness, which, in turn, reduces the circle of friends and spoils relationships with interlocutors;
3. mental problems. As the body ages, problems develop with memory, attention, speed of reaction to stimuli, dementia, Alzheimer's disease, Pick's disease, etc. All this together interferes with the full communication of an elderly person, because it is quite difficult to conduct a dialogue with an interlocutor who has mental disorders;
4. problems with family. With the onset of old age, there is a sharp reduction in the circle of communication not only with old acquaintances, but also with relatives. The deterioration of character negatively affects the process of communication; situations of extremes can also arise: an elderly person has endless love for one of the family members, and a sharply opposite feeling for another;
5. reducing the circle of long-time friends. Death does not bypass anyone; this phenomenon is especially common among older people. Having lost a good friend, a person is in no hurry to make a new one - in old age, new contacts are not easy;
6. pension. Upon retirement, your social circle also shrinks. At work, dialogues always take place between colleagues on various topics (work, children, hobbies, etc.), after the end of the working period, when free time begins, characterized mostly by being at home, a person reduces the daily dose of communication, because there are more colleagues not nearby;
7. "obsession" with problems. In old age, when the circle of friends and interests shrinks, topics of conversation also change in nature. The main ones are illness and dissatisfaction with the lived moments of life. There are few people who want to communicate with a person whose words convey the negativity of what is happening.

Is loneliness in old age normal?

A natural question arises: how normal is loneliness in old age?

Loneliness does not define old age!

It can be avoided if you slightly adjust your behavior around people around you. First, you need to control your mental state; if you control your emotions and monitor the functioning of your nervous system, you can avoid many groundless conflicts.

Secondly, the younger generation should remember that the older generation is wise with experience, so it is necessary to respect and appreciate them, forgiving minor misunderstandings and weaknesses, and be more tolerant, because the aging process will not bypass anyone.

Thirdly, it is necessary to maintain warm and friendly relations in the family, because children have no one closer to their parents, family ties are the strongest. There is no need to limit an elderly person’s communication with his family, because... there is nothing worse than loneliness.

And in order to interest him in life’s affairs and indicate that he is needed, you need to assign some chores around the house in accordance with his capabilities. This has an extremely positive effect on relationships and strengthens them.

Old lady on a bench

Types of aging

The type of aging plays a significant role in the process of loneliness and old age.

There are six psychological types of aging:

1. Grouchy old age . This specificity of aging is typical for people who, at a young age, often showed dissatisfaction with others. Their behavior is based on the principle: everything around them consists of shortcomings, except themselves. Medicine, the political situation in the country, neighbors, etc. - everything has certain flaws in the opinion of an elderly person, and he tries to convey his position in life, which always remains right, to others, despite the fact that they are not interested in it. Elderly people of this type are characterized by aggressive behavior;
2. Unlucky old age . A distinctive feature of people of this type is a constant salary for a failed life. All their memories are negative; mistakes and blunders most often appear in their memory. They are characterized by a hunched back and a sad expression on their face. They are completely dissatisfied with the moments they lived;
3. Family old age . Most often, this type of behavior is characteristic of females. In order not to lose the meaning of life and remain necessary, a woman gives all of herself to her family, shouldering all the household chores of the children (raising grandchildren, cleaning the house, cooking, etc.). This type is more positive in comparison with the previous two, however, it cannot be called an ideal option;
4. Healthy aging . Upon retirement, men begin to frantically monitor their health (since they live less than women). Taking endless queues at medical institutions, they try in every possible way to try to maintain their health at a level, most often speaking not only about their real illnesses, but also paying considerable attention to imaginary ailments;
5. Adaptive old age implies multiple hobbies, vigorous active leisure, because there is more than enough time for this. Here loneliness and old age cannot stand side by side;
6. Creative old age . It implies an active life position even after retirement. People of this type constantly add variety to their lives, they have hobbies (travel, various master classes, hobbies, etc.), which allows them to maintain a wide circle of contacts, maintain interest in life and feel part of this world, to be needed. This type is the most favorable, because it allows the elderly person to continue self-realization in life.

Creativity of the elderly

How to deal with loneliness

There are a number of methods to combat loneliness in old age:

• active life position - you should avoid passively lying on the bed or mindlessly watching the same type of TV shows (which is preferred by most people of retirement age). New impressions can only be gained by attending events of a different nature (depending on taste), and only in this way can you make new acquaintances, show interest in life, and experience vivid emotions;
• Creative activity - having a hobby in old age - is an obligatory component of old age (for those who want to avoid loneliness). It can be anything, because at the moment there is a sufficient amount of free time when you can realize the dreams and ideas of your youth, which previously was always prevented by something. It can be anything: traveling, writing stories, dancing, photography, modeling, cooking, etc. There are no restrictions, the main thing is that it brings pleasure and joy from what is happening. And with teamwork, the effect will be even better, because activities in the company of allies are most enjoyable. In addition, it improves communication skills, which is necessary in old age;
• development of intelligence - training the intellect is extremely important, it will improve memory, attention, and thinking. You can choose to do crossword puzzles or puzzles. Learning poems will also help achieve good results. It is much more pleasant to have a dialogue with an interesting interlocutor with a broad outlook;
• control of emotions - with age, character changes for the worse, therefore, in order not to lose all your friends and interlocutors, you need to control your emotions. Older people are characterized by grouchiness, tediousness, selfishness, greed, whining, anger;
• respectful attitude towards yourself and towards people around you;
• optimistic attitude - it is important to be optimistic in life, not to lose heart in difficult situations and remember the rule that nothing lasts forever, the sun will always come out after the rain. Concentrating on the positive attracts positive emotions into life, and eternal dissatisfaction with what is happening only aggravates the situation;
• self-love is important, because as they say, everything begins with self-love, a positive attitude of others towards a person is only possible if a person loves himself, because this is noticeable. Therefore, it is necessary not to neglect yourself even in old age, to continue to take care of yourself.

Video: Kindergarten for the elderly

Conclusion

A person needs communication, because we all live in society, so it is worth remembering that behavior in society has its own limits.

In order not to remain useless to anyone in your declining years, you should value and love your family, control your behavior without flaunting the negative sides of your personality, and be interested in events happening in the world.

A positive attitude, an active life position, and having a hobby will help you remain an interesting person, maintain the necessary level of communication and be important and necessary to society.